How to get the respect you deserve

There was an incident during art class in my first year at high school. One particular student was an introvert, but if you had been there, you would have marveled at the sculptures and paintings of this particular student. There was another student, who many would have considered as much less talented, but excelled in another area, getting the teachers attention, due to misbehaving , or simply by engaging in friendly small-talk. The teacher was a good man, but pretty relaxed and care-free in the way the classes were conducted. Often times the teacher would assign work and then disappear for much of the class, only to return at the end of the class to collect any completed works. To the students though, it was clear that there was one particular student who was most talented. This talented student would create artworks with such care and passion, that it was inspiring to watch. One afternoon, our expectations were shattered, when the teacher returned the marks for a recent assignment. The talented student was given average marks, ranking the student somewhere in the middle of the class. What shocked us the most was the ranking given to the much less talented student. This student was given high marks, ranking the student, second in the class. I doubt this was the sole reason, but it could have been a factor in causing that talented student to leave the school, and join another school, in the following year.

Why didn’t the talented student get the respect that was deserved? Have you asked yourself a similar question? Have there been times where you haven’t received the respect you deserved?

In this episode I will give you a method to get the respect you deserve every time. This method works regardless of your situation, or the situation of the people around you. But it will take practice.

Lets take a moment to consider this: what have you done to earn that respect?

Regardless of your past or present situation, you’ve been through your life creating something valuable: your experiences, your knowledge, your abilities. In your current situation, what value do you have, that other people need to receive? If these people don’t receive this value, you won’t get the respect you think you deserve. As a student in high school, we understood the passion of that talented student. As students, we received the value created by the talented student. On the other hand, did the teacher receive this same value? Probably not. In what ways could the talented student have delivered this value to the teacher? What can we learn from the much less talented student, who did get respect from the teacher? It doesn’t matter if the teacher was right or wrong. He was simply doing his best.

To get the respect you deserve, you need to deliver your value in a way that people can receive it. Another way of saying this, is that you need to meet people at their energy level. This was one of the biggest challenges I faced in my experience as a corporate employee. Often times I felt I was not receiving the respect that I deserved, but then again, what had I done to deserve that respect? Did my surrounding employees know the full extent of my past? Did I communicate to them my experiences and opinions? What relationships did I develop with them? I wasn’t receiving respect because I hadn’t delivered my value to them. In their eyes, that value did not exist. As soon as I started opening up to people in a way that they could understand, the value of my experiences was delivered, and I started to get the respect I deserved.

I’ve found that beliefs can play a big part in this. One reason you may not be delivering your value is because, you feel you don’t have any value to give. You might be thinking, “I’m not good enough” to be expressing this or this about myself. You might also be thinking the opposite. “These people aren’t good enough” to hear about what I have to say, or to receive what I have to give. These are limiting beliefs that can lead you to thinking that you aren’t getting the respect you deserve. But when you realize that these beliefs are false, and that your experiences hold incredible value, then you can start delivering your value to those who need to receive it.

Following these approaches, if you continue to feel that you aren’t getting the respect you deserve, then consider this. Is your current situation right for you? Are there others that you can surround yourself with, who can much better receive the value that you can give? Maybe you’ve done your best in your current situation, you’ve been respected, but you feel you deserve more. Maybe you need to give yourself the respect you deserve, and move on. You are doing the best you can. So is everyone else.

Also, understand that you DON’T have to get the respect you think you deserve from every single person you interact with. Others may be more suitable at connecting with those people than you are. Some people may simply be at an energy level that is out of your reach. Acknowledge this and move on. Of course, love is an energy that can be shared and received by all…

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So next time you feel you aren’t getting the respect you deserve, remember, deliver your value in a way that people can receive it. You ARE good enough to deliver your value. Others ARE good enough to receive it. Surround yourself by those who are in the best position to receive the value you can give. Understand that you DON’T have to get the respect you think you deserve from every single person you interact with. Act with love, and stay focused on enjoying your journey.

After all, everyone has been through their own experiences. Everyone sees the world in their own way. Remember the story about the talented art student from high school? It doesn’t matter if the teacher was right or wrong. He was simply doing his best. He saw the world in his own way. Perhaps the friendship from that less talented student was a more valuable offering to him. Many people would think so too.

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